A Hidden Past
by JessieJay13
Summary: Hermione's past has a big secret, one even her family doesn't know about. But it has to come out when she starts having relapses into her memories, which are slowly but surely driving her mad.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Hermione ran her fingers through Ron's hair, letting his tongue slide into her mouth gently. His thumbs left gentle circles on her hips as he pushed her back slightly onto the bed. He looked into her eyes as he tried to slide her tank top up over her head. Suddenly, she stiffened and her eyes seemed to glaze over, as if she wasn't really seeing him anymore.

"Hermione?" Ron asked concernedly. She closed her eyes and whimpered, turning her face away from him. "Hermione, what's the matter?"

"No…no, please…" she whispered, but Ron could tell these words weren't directed at him. She was completely lost to him, he couldn't get her to respond to him at all, except to try and shrink away from him.

Ron stood up and took a few steps back. Hermione scooted to the corner of the bed and hugged her knees to her chest, a few tears dripping from underneath her closed eyelids. Ron was completely bewildered. He couldn't think of any reason for her to be acting like this.

"Hermione, it's me, Ron," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and trying to ease toward her. She just whimpered again and winced at his voice. "'Mione, why are you acting this way? It's just me. You're best friend of seven years. Your boyfriend. Can you even hear me?"

"Please, not again, Eric, please…" Hermione whispered so quietly Ron almost didn't catch it. His eyes shot open and his breathing nearly stopped.

"Eric?" he asked bluntly. "Who's Eric? What did he do to you?" Hermione was crying in earnest now, cowering as far away from him as she could. Ron stood and exited the room quickly, feeling she must need to be alone. He knew there was nothing he could do for her right now.

Hermione looked up at Ron, loving adoration in her eyes. He started pulling her shirt up over her head and something abruptly snapped in the back of her mind. This situation was too similar. Someone she knew, someone she loved, on top of her, undressing her. It hit a chord in her and she stiffened as her vision blurred.

And quite suddenly, it was no longer Ron leaning over her, but _him_ again, _him_ with his soothing words and malicious grin, _him_ with his videos and pictures, _him_. And she couldn't take it. Hermione whimpered, turning away from him, trying not to listen as he told her all about what he wanted.

"No…no, please…" she whispered, just as she had done that day, reliving it in her mind for the first time in years. She could hear Ron saying something, but in her mind, it was just Eric with more explanations, more reassurances, more lies.

"Please, not again, Eric, please…"

She felt the presence on the bed shift and she hastily scrambled away from 'Eric' as she had done, recoiling as far as she could from the menacing presence of her remembrance. There were more words. She didn't respond. She knew there were tears streaming down her face but she couldn't feel them. She heard the door close as Ron left the room but she didn't see it. All she could feel was Eric, all she could see was Eric.

And her hidden past was slowly driving her mad.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Ron hurried down the stairs and up the opposite ones, into the dorm he shared with Harry, Neville, Dean and Seamus. Currently, only Harry was sitting on his bed, letting a tiny golden snitch zoom around the room and watching it lazily.

"Hey, Ron," he said unconcernedly. "I was so bored I snatched the snitch from the locker rooms and…" he trailed off, sitting up at the shaken look on Ron's face. "Ron, what's wrong?"

Ron shook his head nervously, sitting shakily down on his own bed, facing his best friend. "Well, you know me and Hermione have been dating for a couple of months now," he began awkwardly, not exactly sure how to explain what had happened. "We were just fooling around in her room, and we were about to take it another step when she just sort of froze up. Her eyes glazed over, and started shaking and crying, and saying something about a guy named Eric. She didn't respond to me at all. It felt like she wasn't even seeing me. It was frankly terrifying," Ron said, looking down at his own shaking hands.

"Well, what did you do?" Harry asked, alarmed.

"Nothing," Ron said, looking pleadingly up at Harry now, begging him almost. "I didn't know what to do. Nothing I said got her to respond to me. She just kept saying things like, 'No, no…' or 'No, please, Eric, not again…'" Ron was shaking all over now. He felt so helpless, to see the girl he loved beneath him, looking up at him like that. "The way she looked at me. Well, I don't know if it was really me she was seeing. But it just…it made me feel like a-a-a monster or something! And I felt so helpless. I just don't know, Harry…"

Ron buried his face in his hands, trying to hide his tears from his friend. Harry switched beds to sit next to him, an arm thrown comfortingly over his shoulders.

"It's okay, Ron, it wasn't your fault. Something must have happened to her to make her feel that way," Harry said reassuringly. "I think we should go check on her, just to make sure she's okay." Ron nodded tremulously, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve.

The two boys made their way up to the girls' dorm, temporarily suspending the charm on the stairs with the spell Hermione had taught them. Harry put his ear to the door--Ron didn't want to do it; he was afraid of what he would here--but he heard nothing.

"Hermione?" he said quietly. No response. "Hermione, are you in there? Are you okay?" Still nothing. He gently pushed the door open, Ron peeking over his shoulder. Hermione was right where he had left her, huddling in a corner of the bed, still topless, but she had stopped crying. She seemed to be asleep. Harry gestured to Ron and they tiptoed inside. Ron slipped her tank top back over her head, laid her down on the bed and covered her with a blanket. Then they snuck back out.

"That's exactly how she was when I left her!" Ron said once they were out of earshot, down in the common room. "Huddled up in a corner, crying and shaking! You see what I mean? Something must be wrong with her. Girls don't usually just break down like that without some sort of reason. Well, usually."

"I don't think you should ask her about it," Harry warned, sitting them down in the squashy armchairs by the fire. "It might make her freak again. If something is really as wrong as you think it is, she'll tell you in due time."

"Wise words, Harry, wise words," Ron sighed, letting himself be drawn in by the leaping flames in the grate, each one trying to outdo the others in their eternal fight for glory and light.


End file.
